Gimpy Dogs, The High Priestess, and the Inspiration for the Title of This Page
Life on Life's Terms -- Spiral Out, Keep Going
A few days ago our big dog Luna (the Bernedoodle in the top picture above) took a twisty jump in the air, trying in vain to catch a crow in her backyard maple tree. She doesn’t like those damn birds encroaching on her yard, and she defends the perimeter fiercely. She has an admirable vertical leap; she catches a surprising amount of air. I worry at times that our six-foot fence wouldn’t contain her if she was motivated enough. One of these days, she may get lucky and snatch one of those “sky dogs” from the air mid-flight. Dog goals aside, on this particular day rather than nabbing a crow, she started limping after tweaking her hind leg on launch or landing. Back in 2016, our dog before her, Emma, (a Giant Schnauzer), blew out her ACL and had to have surgery that required thousands of dollars and weeks of kennel rest and recovery, so naturally, Luna’s limp brought back those memories.
Shortly afterwards, Frankie, the red Dachshund in the center picture above, took a tumble from a height that for her is the equivalent of a two-story building, despite all of our vigilance to keep those little dogs safe. She immediately favored a hind leg, just like her big sister. My heart hurt for our doggies and their pain, but if I am being honest, so did my ever-present, always-lurking fear of financial insecurity. If either of the dogs need surgery, they are going to get it. If both of them do, well, that’s why God made credit cards. We’re going to take care of our family, no matter what.
It’s the no-mattering of the “what” that whispers to me in the night though, when the world is quiet and everyone else is sleeping. Stephen King may worry about a cold hand materializing from under the bed and grabbing his ankle, but I worry about not paying bills on time, which my magical catastrophizing (it’s a word) mind immediately extrapolates into foreclosures, repossessions, destitution, and homelessness. Almost worse: I imagine not being able to buy books, new vinyl, coffee mugs, and avocado toast whenever the mood strikes me.
So this weekend, I blocked off all the stairs in the house, set up dog beds in the living room, scooched (it’s a word) their water and food dishes close to the carpet so they wouldn’t have to walk on the slippery kitchen floor, and brought my Tarot cards to the coffee table to pour over there instead of in my office. I told the dogs we were going to have a sick day and take as few steps as possible. Saturday was my day to do a deep dive on The High Priestess card then get a little writing done, so I put on a Spotify playlist (created by a tarot group I’m part of) full of songs dedicated to the meaning of that card to listen to while I studied. A few songs in, I was hit with one of those moments of synchronicity in life I love so much. Lateralus by Tool came on.
This would be barely noteworthy for most people except Tool fanatics surprised to see one of their songs included on a playlist with other artists like Erykah Badu, Olivia Newton John, and Luscious Jackson, but for me it was a moment. This is the very song that inspired my Substack page name. The song is an intricate wonder that displays Tool’s attention to detail. Every word and time signature change was mindfully written to rhythmically and lyrically depict the Fibonacci sequence or the Golden Ratio. Here are some of the lyrics:
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind
Feed my will to feel this moment
Urging me to cross the line
Reaching out to embrace the random
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come
I embrace my desire to
Feel the rhythm, to feel connected
Enough to step aside and weep like a widow
To feel inspired
To fathom the power
To witness the beauty
To bathe in the fountain
To swing on the spiral
Of our divinity
And still be a human
With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
Between the sounds and open wide to suck it in
I feel it move across my skin
I'm reaching up and reaching out
I'm reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been
Spiral out, keep going
I didn’t even think twice when it came to naming this page. Spiraling in and out is how my brain works. I am just as likely to be focused on big, worldwide issues for which there are no easy answers as I am to be writing about my dogs’ gimpy legs and song lyrics. What I like about the practice of Tarot is that it works just as well for examining big themes as it does for dissecting specific day-to-day issues. I have done single card readings all the way to 78 card readings using every card in a standard deck. Every card or spread can have the simplicity or complexity that you need that day.
Customizable complexity is probably what I like about the daily writing practice too. There are days where I am deep into a fictional world I’m creating out of thin air, days when I am pondering questions of the ages, and days when all I can muster is a really robust to-do list. Sometimes I question every word, turning each one over and examining it carefully before including it in the sentence. Other times, the pen doesn’t leave the page, and no mental editing takes place — it’s all about the flow. Whether I’m writing a quick haiku or wresting with the language to try to convey some eternal mystery, the concept of a spiral fits.
Meanwhile, a few days have passed since I started writing this. I’ve gotten distracted from Substack by the siren call of LinkedIn and the job the Universe is preparing for my next chapter in life. In that time, I’m happy to report that both of the gimpy dogs seem to have healed up just fine and no medical intervention has been necessary.
Spiral out, keep going.
Lateralus lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Songwriters: Adam Jones / Daniel Carey / Justin Gunner Chancellor / Maynard James Keenan
All photos by TK Hart
I'm happy the puppers (it's a word) have healed up!